The power and pitfalls of identity

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A few weeks ago, I shared a piece on taking conscious action, inspired by reading Atomic Habits by James Clear. As I read this book, I also reflected on the concept of identity and how it is interwoven with what we do everyday. Much of my work as an occupational therapist centers on helping people make change in their lives. And we all know change is hard.

Sustainable behavior change is really identity change. 

Our identity is multifaceted, consisting of many things – non-exhaustedly, cultural beliefs, our core values, what we fill our time with, how others see us. James Clear described, “the tighter we cling to an identity, the harder it becomes to grow beyond it.” At the same time, a solid sense of identity helps us make the small daily choices and larger life choices that give us a sense of direction and purpose. Conscious reflection and cultivation of a sense of identity helps us build routines, habits, rituals, relationships, and ultimately, a life that feels aligned. And yet, our identities can trap us in a smaller sense of self if they become too rigid or uni-dimensional. While our identity can be a source of power, it can also hold us back.

There are uncontrollable things which can rock our sense of identity. We used to define ourselves as a good student or worker; however, we get sick which forces us to take a semester off or discontinue working. We used to define ourselves as an athlete, but we sustain an injury which bars us from training or competing in the way we used to. This disruption to our occupational life (the meaningful activities with which we fill our time and derive a sense of purpose) can leave us feeling lost and helpless, and disrupt our sense of self.

The more that we are attached to any one role  – the student, the worker, the athlete – the more we might suffer when we lose access to them. What was once viewed as a core “strength” could become a barrier as we must move forward, allowing ourselves to change and evolve.

Perhaps reminding ourselves of the essential qualities of our identity and getting in touch with the deeper core of who we are and what our values are can be guide posts in these situations. Perhaps these deeper aspects of identity can offer us inspiration to guide our occupational choices and to re-form our occupational identity when it has been disrupted. 

For example, if you identified heavily as a student but are not currently able to be in school or are in the transition of graduating, what were the deeper qualities of the student role that resonated with you. Perhaps it was the curiosity, the continual learning, making connections between novel ideas, or being engaged in dialogue with others. While the identity of “I am a student” can come to be limiting, the identity of “I am curious, I am a learner, I am a connector of ideas” suggests possibilities and growth.

This more fluid way of imagining the power of identity leaves me with the image of water. Water flows, it molds to different shapes, it collects and disperses, it softly weaves its way around harsh corners and edges. No matter the obstacle in its path, water cannot “break”, it merely takes on a new form.  

How is your identity impacted by what you do (or don’t do) in everyday life? Have there been key moments in your life where an identity has really helped you or held you back?

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This article was originally published on Substack, where you can access the full archive of my writing and subscribe to my Living Aligned newsletter.